What Matters Most

This is an inspiring forwarded e-mail from my kind, good and bubbly friend and neighbor Ate L.

All relationships are put to
the fire. There is no such thing as a
constantly happy couple. There is no
such thing as a constantly happy
relationship. All of us, at one point
in our affairs will have to go through
a cleansing process which, hopefully,
will make us better persons.

Let us always remember that
our relationships are put to the test
to make stronger and better persons
out of us. Second to love, the next
most important ingredient of a
successful relationship is
communication. Many would agree that
there are certain things in a
relationship that are better kept
unsaid. But I don’t believe in that.
The moment we lie about our feelings
or the wrong that we have done, we
begin to build a wall of bricks around
ourselves. Every time we hide
something out of fear, we add a brick
to that wall. Soon we will be total
strangers to the very people we vowed
to be with the rest of our lives. We
will start to hurt inside until we can
no longer bear the pain. Until we
regretfully give up the very
relationships that we wanted to keep.

Communication is the lifeblood
of any relationship. If we cannot
bravely express our innermost fears,
doubts, and insecurities to the people
we love then our ties are doomed to
fail sooner or later. I would rather
be hurt by a person who is honest than
be hurt in by someone who betrayed my
trust. Many couples suffer in just
make things worst. They keep their
feelings to themselves until their
affection towards each other
diminishes to the point where
separation becomes inevitable.

Remember, there is no burden
so heavy that it cannot be lightened
by an open, honest and peaceful
exchange of thoughts and feelings.
Fights are inevitable. Oftentimes, we
hurt those we love because we insist
on protecting our own feelings.
Selfishness is a poison that
recklessly kills relationships. It is
only when we set aside our pride,
arrogance and anger that we are able
to deal with raging emotions sensibly
and peacefully. There would be a lot
of times when we would be tempted to
think only of the things that would
make us happy. Most of the time, the
happiness we get from satisfying our
own want is happiness that we deprive
others of. Our joy is their pain and
our rise is their fall. Some
relationships survived one of the most
difficult trials. They owe it to God
who has watched over them all
throughout the most trying times of
their lives. They understood because
they listened to what each of them
were trying to say. They realized what
was going each other badly because
they both became selfish. But the pain
felt was washed away by the fact that
love, among all the feelings that they
shared, still remained the strongest
pillar with which they have built
their relationship upon.

Indeed, beautiful things will
always be built of the foundations of
pain. We are strengthened by adversity
and seasoned by trials in our
relationships. It is not how much pain
we feel that matters. What matters is
that we are able find a space in our
hearts to forgive those who have hurt
us. It is not how hard we have
stumbled that matters. What matters is
that we muster enough courage to stand
on our feet and try again. It doesn’t
matter if we have found love and lost
it. What matters more is the joy that
feeling brought us. What matters most
is that we loved at all.

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