On Women and Marriage

Quotes on Women and Marriage..

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of
chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me
like toxic waste.
David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two
sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but
still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll
be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a
philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents
us from achieving them.
Dumas

The great question… which I have not been able to
answer… is, “What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some
paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage.
We take time to go to a restaurant two times a
week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and
dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
Henry Youngman

“I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two
years.”
Sam Kinison

“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even
faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.”
James Holt McGavran

“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one
left me and the second one didn’t.”
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife’s
birthday is to forget it once…
Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I
wanted to.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then
we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when
she’s wrong.
Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the
enemy.
Anonymous

A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife
wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!” Second
Guy “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”