Happy Kids

Ate Shey’s Grand Birthday Celebration Part III: Kids Havin’ Fun

As the parents were enjoying the night chatting with friends while having dinner so as the kids in the party hall. They were running, chasing one another and other smaller imps were trying to hide under the tables.

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Still want to trade places?

Just want to share this…Really a big joke!

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife
stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
“Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in
8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.

I want her to know what I go through, so please
allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish. The next
morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids,

Set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches,

Drove them to school, came home and picked up
the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners

And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping,

Then drove home to put away the groceries,

Paid the bills and balanced the checkbook.

He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog.

Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds,
do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with
them on the way home.

Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their
homework,

Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad,
breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded
laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was
exhausted
and, though his daily chores weren’t finished, he went to bed where he
was
expected to make love, which he managed to get through without
complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said,
Lord,
I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife’s
being
able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back.”
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, “My son, I feel you have
learned
your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they
were.
You’ll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last
night.”
😉

I’m a Photographer, Not a…

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.

The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting.

He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, “Let’s go!” The tense man sitting in the pilot’s seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.

“Fly over the north side of the fire,” said the photographer, “And make several low-level passes.

“Why?” asked the nervous pilot.

“Because I’m going to take pictures!” yelled the photographer. “I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures!

“The pilot replied, “You mean you’re not the flight instructor?”

Good News to all Smokers

The Dragon Tobacco Company, on its Golden Anniversary wishes to invite smokers of all ages to join its biggest anniversary sweepstakes draw, where every smoker is a sure winner.

All smokers will have a chance to win the following MAJOR PRIZES:

FIRST PRIZE: A brand new CANCER, with Bronchial infection, Goiter, Sinusitis,Migraine, Cerebral Tumor, Paralysis, Hypertension and Asthma.

SECOND PRIZE: Hepatitis, Meningitis and Bronchitis

THIRD PRIZE: Emphysema, Arteriosclerosis, Gingivitis, Rheumatic HeartDisease and Lung Cancer

Maalala Mo pa Kaya

Heto ang KAPAYAPAAN na alam natin, noong wala pangKAUNLARAN…

Si Nanay ay nasa bahay pag-uwi namin galing sa paaralan; Walang mga bakod at gate ang magkakapit-bahay, kung meron, gumamela lang;

10 sentimos o diyes lang ang baon: singko sa umaga, singko sahapon; Merong free ang mga patpat ng ice drop: buko man o munggo.

Mataas ang paggalang sa mga guro at ang tawag sa kanila ayMaestro/a:

Di binibili ang tubig, pwedeng maki-inom sa di mo kakilala.

Malaking bagay na ang pumunta sa ilog para mag-picnic,o kaya sa tumana;

Grabe na ang kaso pag napatawag ka sa principal’s office o kaya malaking kahihiyan kapag bagsak ka sa exams;

Simple lang ang pangarap: makatapos, makapag-asawa, mapagtapos ang mga anak…

Pwedeng iwan ang sasakyan at ibilin sa hindi mo kakilala; wala namang lock ang mga jeep na Willy’s noon.

Mayroon kaming mga laruan na gawa namin at hindi binili:trak-trakan (gawa sa rosebowl ang katawan at darigold na maliit ang mga gulong, “sketeng” (scooter) na bearing na maingay ang mga gulong at de-sinkong pako para sa preno;patining na pinitpit na tansan lang na may 2 butas sa gitna para suotan ng sinulid (pwede pang makipag-lagutan);sumpak, pilatok, boca-boca, bora dor, atbp.

Di nakikialam ang mga matanda sa mga laro ng mga bata:kasi laro nga iyon.

Maraming usong laro at maraming kasali: laste, gagamba,turumpo, tatsing ng lata, pera namin ay kaha ng Philip Morris, Malboro, Champion (kahon-kahon yon!)

May dagta ang dulo ng tinting na hawak mo para makahuli tutubi, nandadakma ka ng palakang tetot, pero ingat ka sa palakang saging dahil sa kulugo;

Continue reading “Maalala Mo pa Kaya”

The Burned Ears…

A guy burned two ears… so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened.

He said, ”I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang…so instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear…”

”But how the heck did you burn the other ear?” The doctor asked.

”How do you think I called you people?”