It’s been more than 2 months that I longed to be in my sweet country. I planned of going home but I simply can’t. Silly, I know! The thought of travelling with a toddler and a baby in tow is madness but I know that i’ll manage. But see, this is the case of a stay at home mom with no work, no money and just totally depend on a husband.
How I wish to be back there in my homeland and enjoy a 2-month vacation with my parents, surely they would love to. And I would want to unwind , relax, and heal myself, (read!) I’m quite tired. I want a very long sleep that nobody would wake me up and stir the peacefulness of my rest. I want to jog around our town on early mornings (as I used to do when I was a kid). I want to have a very long hearty conversation with my loving mother as we used to have while munching peanuts or over a cup of coffee.
Anyhow, this reminds me of pulling myself and gearing toward a new life, I should be back to working again but how? that’s the question, with nobody that i could trust with my kids, I cant. How I wish that my kids are big already, so I can manage with my finances. If I want to fly to Pinas then I can. I can buy my own ticket. But, for now I just can’t move!
Just finished watching the 1st Season of Desperate Housewives, Yup! I got addicted to these tv series, to name a few… Smallville, Prison Break, 24, Lost, not to mention Family Guy.
Days are so swift, to the point that I sometimes don’t know which day it is alreasy. As I mentioned in my last blog entry I don’t have a maid anymore, so that’s it. Everyday is a hectic day. My whole day is not enough for my toddler who’s nearing three and my 9 mos. old baby.
It occurred to me lately that I gained again the weight that I lost on the first week that I returned our maid, which means that I easily adapted to this endless juggling of houseworks and keeping my sanity intact for the moment that my kids are still like cavemen (when will this end?).
Friends kept on asking me if I can make it. Don’t insult my capacity of course I can do it but the sad part is I became so damned impatient and easily irritated. I feel sorry for my toddler I quickly snap on her everytime she makes demands and attention. And I feel bad about this. I don’t want to be a monster mom to my kids but sometimes I just can’t help but to snap at them or worst spank her. I know, I told myself tht I won’t resort to spanking and yelling but what happened to me. I guess it’s not too late I can still change my parenting style.
I love my kids and I want them to feel my love for them.